Becoming a parent can be one of the most challenging tasks in the life of an individual, and probably one of the most cherishing ones too. Each parent is wishful for his child’s well-being and wants him or her to be brought up in a way that could make the results well worth the effort. Every parent wants the growing child to be unique and distinguished from the crowd, and above all, want him to be ‘well-disciplined.
Discipline is portrayed differently by each individual. It means a form of training that results in good behavior, basically, and each parent has his way of punishing, or rewarding the child, according to the behavior that evolves in them (Anker, C., 2007). Amongst a diversity of parenting styles that are adopted for creating a sense of good discipline in children, there are three that are most commonly described by researchers, which include authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative.
Authoritarian
Authoritarian parents tend to impose their rules on their children. The setting of the rules and disclosing them to their offspring in a firm manner is what this style constitutes. There is hardly any affection present in the method employed to let the children know of what they are ‘not’ to do. This is the strictest form of parenting, as the child is not told why he is not to take a certain course of action, rather, he is ‘ordered’ not to do so, and that is the final decision of the parent, no matter what (Iannelli, V., 2008).
Permissive
The permissive parents allow the child to do as he wishes, mostly, and do not indulge in rule-setting or showing harshness. Instead, the child is allowed to do according to his own will, whether or not he can make the right choices for himself. Such parents prefer not to get involved in the child’s misconduct by showing response and feel helpless at any misdemeanors on the child’s part (Iannelli, V., 2008).
Autonomous or Authoritative
The authoritative or democratic style exercised by parents in child-rearing and disciplining is the most successful in the viewpoint of child experts. This is a somewhat balanced form of child upbringing, in rewarding him when he does well, and punishing him for his undesirable behavior, or rule-breaking. The punishments set forth by the authoritative parents are more logical and are not the kind that authoritarian parents offer. They are realistic penalties for misconduct shown by the children (Anker, C., 2007).
Impact of Parenting Styles
The style acquired by parents to bring up their children has a strong impact on the child’s development and personality. The child becomes what the parents make him. This is why the art of parenting is a crucial factor in the parent-child relationship. The authoritarian style hardly produces the discipline the parents are aiming for, in the child. The children raised by this method tend to follow their parents’ rules out of fear, rather than out of respect for the rules. They learn to accept punishments that they have to encounter, and are regretful for having been caught for their misbehavior. Boys especially show more hostile behavior, as they have to undergo so many restrictions.
The permissive style results in the emergence of a spoiled brat, due to the absence of any form of limits to his undertakings. The freedom acquired by the child disables him to get along well with people outside the family circle due to emotional insecurity.
The authoritative style is a good way to get the child into confidence, and vice versa. There is a relaxed and comfortable relationship between the two parties, and when the parents give the reasoning for the rules they impose, the children begin to respect these rules and the values they hold.
I would opt for the authoritative method of parenting as it produces the best outcomes in the child’s behavior and personality building. This holds due to the personal gains experienced by me, personality-wise, and for the amount of appreciation I hold for my parents for never being too strict with me, nor giving me the freedom to an extent that could spoil me.
The method of parenting that is employed also has affects the mental health of the young generation that is being brought up. The children brought up by the authoritarian method suffer from low self-esteem because they think their feelings hold no value. On reaching adolescence, they fear looking up to their parents for guidance, as there is a big communication gap present between them.
The permissive parents’ child may turn out to be aggressive due to the little involvement by parents in their daily lives, and hold an irresponsible behavior, forcing the parents to pay them attention.
The authoritative parents’ child is more confident and cooperative. He is achievement-oriented, with the fair treatment given by parents, which makes them feel better.
No matter which way a parent raises his child, the most essential element is that of a bond of love between them, that will carry them forward.
References
- Anker, C. Teaching Good Behavior 2007. Retrieved from Time Life Inc.
- Iannelli, V. Parenting Styles: Parenting Tips. Web.